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[Sun, Nov 19th, 2006 at 6:05pm
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When I'm Gone |
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I'm sure if I were to write a book based on me I could get away with calling it "Mark Sloan: Confessions of a Professional Bed Hopper." Because as much as that disgust most people, thats who I am. I guess some things never change, even if you relocate yourself all the way across the country to follow the one girl you only ever loved.
Since breaking up with Addison I have hooked up with blonde chick, broken arm chick, stupid chick, drunk chick, sober chick, chick with the 10 year old kid, chick who dyes her hair red, chick from the bar, chick who came in for information on a boob job and a bunch of other meaningless one night stand chicks.
Nobody's Addison. Nobody can measure up to her or be here or even remotely like her. It's strange how even when I see her every single day at work, every single night as she heads into the elevator up to her room, I miss her more than I did when she was in Seattle and I was in New York.
What have I done?
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| private |
[Sun, Oct 22nd, 2006 at 9:00am
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crushed |
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The Rain |
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As fast as we were one we became two again because the green monster of jealousy came out of nowhere and took away the only woman I ever love. I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore, stay in Seattle where I have the constant reminder of her everywhere I turn? Or go back to New York and try to pretend that none of this ever happened; that she didn't call me that night and I never asked her to marry me.
I have signed on with Richard, but all I need to give him is two weeks notice. I can't stay here, not with Addie in the same building as me all day where I will catch a glimpse of her but not be able to kiss her or hold her or tell her I love her.
I've moved out of the hotel room, gathered up my stuff after we went for a walk. I can be in the same hotel as her and I can't be near her. Although I'm not sure what good moving hotels did because even without her around she's still on my mind. Every thought leads me back to her. But in two weeks I"ll be gone. I'll be back on the first flight to New York.
I thought that we were strong enough to do this. I thought that after that night on the bathroom floor where we had almost crumbled proved our strength because we were still together and still breathing. But I guess I was wrong.
I guess I was wrong...
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[Sun, Oct 1st, 2006 at 12:29pm
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October Skies |
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Its that voice. Whenever she uses that voice I can't help but cave in to whatever she is asking me for and I hate that voice. I hate it because she sounds so lost, weak and vulnerable and I hate it even more knowing that Derek is the cause for that voice. It makes me want to rip his face off and punch him over and over. I don't understand how he can do this; how he can take Addison and just destroy her like that without even realizing the permanent damage he is causing.
The minute I hung up the phone I grabbed anything clothing in sight and threw it into a backpack. I was on the first flight out of here to Seattle just aching to hold Addison and tell her everything was going to be alright. I was used to it; I was used to it beacuse every night in New York she'd call me and ask me to come over and hold her. Or she'd ask me to stay on the phone with her until Derek came home, and when he did she'd hang up on me and she'd go to bed with Derek leaving me listening to the dial tone on the other end.
The last time I saw Addison this drunk was well never. She didn't even know her own name by the time she came back to the hotel. She was stumbling and falling yelling hateful words about Derek and Meredith and about Seattle. She was broken, again, and Derek was the cause yet again. I think she came to terms with the fact her marriage was over, and as much as I wanted to hold her in my arms and kiss her pain away, I couldn't. She needs her space, and as hard as that is for me to admit, she needs time to mourn Derek and mourn her marriage, even if he is a complete jackass.
I'm not Derek, and I wouldn't ever hurt her and when I say I love her I mean it with every vesel in my body. I love her and that isn't going to ever change. I'll be there for her when she falls and I'll be there to dry away the tears when a kleenex isn't enough, because I love her. I'll be there for her to rub her feet and massage her shoulders after a long day, because I love her. I will give her time and space and whatever else she needs because I love her.
And because I love her, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon.
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| Disclaimer |
[Fri, Sep 29th, 2006 at 4:07pm
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creative |
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I'll Be |
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Grey's Anatomy and other related entities are owned, ™ and © by The Mark Gordon Company and Shondaland Productions in association with Touchstone Television and American Broadcasting Companies. This RP is posted here without their permission, approval, authorization or endorsement. No copyright infringement is intended.
Because I'm cool I'm posting that
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